UGH!!

My name is Amy and I am obsessed with working out. I would quit my job and work out all day, every day if I could. That might involve ditching my family as well, but whatever. I also am in love with clean eating. I LOVE it. Truly love it and am so happy with a clean diet. However, I've been finding it difficult to say "no thank you", even to myself!. "Want a cookie?" SURE! "Want some wine?" SURE!! "Want some crack?", I'm sure I would snatch it out of their hand like a greedy little fucker! With that......I haven't been able to work out as much either. Getting up at 4:30 AM after beer and Doritos for dinner just isn't happening. Who the fuck does that??? Doritos? I am a grown ass woman!!! So this morning, when I finally got out of bed, not at 4:30, not even close to 4:30, I was pissed! Like scream at the top of your lungs pissed. Punch a hole in the wall, PISSED! Try to blame everyone around you PISSED!!So here's my question for you.......Why can't I pull my shit together? How is it that someone who prefers a clean diet cant seem to maintain it? Why does my brand new Whole 30 book have Dorito crumbs on it? And when, oh when, will I finally be able to say "NO THANK YOU"?